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Not sure what my problem is.....

April 18th, 2013 at 01:39 pm

I have been blogging on here for 2 years. And although I have gotten great advice and help and encouragement.....I have not made great progress on my debt repayment. But even so, I felt like I was still on the right track to make better choices and work toward making progress. This weekend, I am pretty sure I have fallen out of the tree of wise and responsible choices. I have no excuses. And as much as I like to tell myself, its ok....you can get back up and start over...I don't understand why I keep making bad decisions. I know that I want to do better....but for some reason it is like I sabatoge myself. This weekend I overspent by $169. Like into the red...account would be overdrawn $169. Luckily I have our savings to cover it....but why would I do that? Then I used my credit cards. Not 1....BOTH. Were they for big purchases...no. They were for stupid things. I am so frustrated with myself. I can talk to people all day long about budgets and how they can get their finances on track but I can't seem to hold myself accountable. Does anybody have some real advice about what I need to do to really get my butt in gear? I don't know why I am having the disconnect! HELP!

6 Responses to “Not sure what my problem is.....”

  1. MonkeyMama Says:

    What happened that made you want to spend that money? I think you need to figure out the underlying psychology. Maybe keep a regular journal of your thoughts and feelings (& I mean like every single day, and maybe more personal than you would want to post online) as this helps to pick up on patterns. In addition to that, you need a replacement habit. When you feel the urge to spend, go to the gym instead. Give yourself a treat that does not cost money.

    One thing that has always been very key for us is erasing outside influences. Hanging around like-minded people. It's hard not to give in to temptation when you see it constantly in your face, no matter how disciplined you are. Why go to the store if you don't need to? (this is one thing I just avoid entirely - stores - they are designed to want you to spend your $$$$).

  2. Allee Says:

    I'm new to Saving Advice, but before starting to really get my financial act together, I tried many times and failed. I was fine when we were saving for our house. I wanted that house, and nothing was going to get in my way! But once we closed, I fell back into my patterns of blowing money. I wanted to be out of debt on the one hand, but there was nothing making me want it badly enough. When my mom--who lives in a nice home on the golf course, drives a luxury car, and travels around the world--admitted she doesn't have enough money to live into the retirement community she'd like, it got me thinking about where I wanted to retire. Where and at what standard of living. I mean, I got specific--I picked out the neighborhood, looked at it on Google Earth, found nice nearby restaurants on the beach. I know what I want my life to look like, and I know what kind of net worth I need to make it happen.

    My point is, sometimes wanting to get out of debt simply for the sake of getting out of debt isn't enough. We know our financial lives would be better without debt, and we all have some fuzzy picture of what "better" looks like. But a fuzzy picture can't compete with everyday temptations. Maybe you already have a crystal clear image of exactly what you want your life to look like, and I'm just preaching to the choir. But if not, maybe getting really clear picture of your future life will help keep you on the right track.

  3. baselle Says:

    Know thyself, and don't be afraid to really poke around in those corners. I second MonkeyMama's advice - journaling can help, and also learning what your triggers are. And avoidance of those triggers is useful.

    What kind of stresses do you have in your life? Do you do a lot of spending to relieve stress or boredom?

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    It is hard to say for sure, but here are some questions to ponder...

    Are you under too much stress? Is your financial goal focused, or spread out among too many goals...which might make you overwhelmed? Is your goal something you really want? Do you have some blow money in your budget that is yours to spend any way you want, so you don't feel guilty?

    As far as your spending...if any of it can be returned definitely do that to lessen the pain of this mistake.

  5. snafu Says:

    If you had funds in savings to cover being overdrawn, that's good! Third voce encouraging journaling to see if you're buying from emotion.. Did you use shopping as entertainment? The marketing gurus work hard and are clever at finding ways to part you from your money you know.

    One suggestion to prevent you from sabotaging yourself, might be to give every dollar a 'job.' That includes an allowance for yourself to reward your hard work and effort. We're here to support you, and you know the drill - perhaps give yourself a task like spring cleaning that results in a positive outcome.

  6. rachel021406 Says:

    Thank you all for commenting. I did a lot of thinking last night. And also re-read some of Dave Ramsey's book. I think I have a plan.

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