I was embarassed. I felt like I was failing. So I had to step away from the blog for a little bit. Truth is, I had to get out of the mindset I was in. I was continuing to spend money. Even after knowing that I didn't like what it was doing. Then, family came into town...and I spent more. Not good. But, I can't hide from it. I feel out of control when I am spending with no regard. I don't like having debt. And the last few days I have just been thinking... "Are you really ready to get rid of this debt?" "Are you ready to commit and knock it out?" Do you realize how much better you will feel without debt? And it will free up part of your budget!" And the answer is "Yes!" I want to be debt free. And I can make sacrifices to get there. Because it will be so much better in the end.

So I am refocused on the "jars" and working with cash. I have looked at my budget and made myself realize....this is what you have to work with. And its possible.

I am still going to have all of my credit cards and the personal loan paid off by the end of September. That is still within my original goal. My husband and I are looking at a couple of ways to possibly make a little extra money. We are also really considering paying me for my work with our personal business. We are thinking $50/week. It would be nice.

So...that's it. I'm here.

Ok. I really am trying to turn things around. This week will be rough, but I guess it is just part of financial recovery. I have gone though my budget and changed what I could. With my adjustments, I should still have all my credit cards and the personal loan paid off by the end of September. Which basically was my goal. To have everything paid off by September. My grocery budget is modest to say the least this week. And it has to last 2 weeks. But, I will make it work. We have eaten out of the garden twice. I have had awesome Radishes, Italian parsley, snap peas, and green beans. Hopefully I will have some more things coming to supplement our lack of grocery budget.


I am trying to just work my way out of this. I am going through a strange nesting, life organizing, spending phase. But I am trying to get it under control. I have a goal of where I would like things to be by Friday. Kind of like my own holiday. Refocusing towards financial "freedom." Realizing how badly I truly want it. And how spending money did not make me feel "better."