I feel stuck. Stuck financially. Stuck physically. Stuck mentally. I know that I can work my way out of this, but I am really struggling. I have been using money to cope with bad days. I justify the spending somehow. Using my credit cards because I have overspent in my bank account. Buying groceries because I want to eat better, but its not budgeted for or planned. Buying "things" to make me feel better because I am having a bad day. These are all bad things. Suck it Up September didn't work for me. I am in a bad situation right now. On Friday, after I am paid, I am over budget...in the red. And not just in theory. Like, I have spent more than I have. I will be short $155.09. If I do not make any payments towards my credit cards, I will only be short $43.09. Obviously, I cannot make credit card payments that are going to make me worse off. But that puts me even further behind on paying off my debt. I did pay off the personal loan. And before this hiccup, I was going to have CC #2 paid off 11/14. And CC #3 paid off 10/31. So I am just frustrated with myself. Frustrated because I am making bad choices.

Sometimes I feel like we are really coasting along. And some days I just feel lost and deflated. I guess that is where I am at today. Sadly, I think my debt payoff will be pushed on until next month. Even then it will be close. I am still looking for extra money, but its hard. I don't know if I can do another PT job. I already work FT and I do work for our own business, so I would consider that my part time job. But I just don't feel like we can get ahead. And the lighting/electronic wipeout has not helped. I would still love to do personal chef work, but I can't spend the money to test recipes. Maybe I can do a little at a time, but that isn't an easy money maker. Maybe I just need to Suck it Up and work another 15 hours a week somewhere? 40 hours FT/ 10 hours PT - our business/ 15 hours PT somewhere. 65 hour workweek. Is it worth it? Some weeks it would be 70 - 75. Depending on my FT job.


And my husband is in a funk too. He works a lot. Its been hot and he can't enjoy the outdoors or work in his garage. Having employees is hard on him sometimes....having to be in charge and having people take advantage of him. And this electronic thing is a real bummer for him. I feel like we need a break, or a vacation, or something. But no money or time right now.


Ok I'm done. I can't ride this pity train any longer....jeez. But surely yall can see my frustration. (Even if I am the root of the problem.)

I have been looking for ways to make some extra money. I signed up for Clickworker, and I just don't think its worth it. First off, I hate giving my social out. It just makes me nervous. Second, I did 4 or 5 things today and I have made less than a dollar. In theory, that could add up. But I find that I do the research that they ask, and then they tell me my answer is incorrect. So I just don't know. I didn't sign up for the Pine Cone surveys. I have not gotten one yet. I'm going to look on Craigslist today and see if I can find any small side jobs.


But I really think I am going to cancel the Clickworker account. Something just feels off. Anyone else tried them?I have been looking for small ways to make some extra

We had a bad storm on Saturday. Lots of lightning...which hit close to our house. We lost our computer, our vinyl cutter, and modem. The printer survived and luckily my laptop was not plugged in. So far, it should cost about $2300 to replace. Insurance deductible is $1974, so it just doesn't make sense to file a claim. So, we have to come up with $2300 more dollars now. Feeling discouraged. The computer is used for work (for our business) and so is the vinyl cutter. And we were going to use th vinyl cutter to make some extra money. So I'm not sure what to do. We have to have another $200 by the end of this month so we can pay to have the dogs fixed. The computer should be about $500. And we need that as soon as we can do it. And the vinyl cutter is not an emergency, but we do use it for work. So we would like to replace it sooner than later.

I feel guilty for trying to pay off my credit cards now. Should I start putting the extra money towards this problem and extend the debt? I really wanted everything paid off by then end of the month.

Blah

Well, I had 3 NSDs out of the 5 days so far. Today I have to buy gas, but I did get a free lunch!


There is so much I want to do this weekend, but I think I will have to adjust things. My mom has had some irregular medical tests over the last couple of days. So I think I should spend some time with her tomorrow. She wants to go to an antique mall. So hopefully I can look and not buy. It will be a true test of "Suck it Up September". Housework and organizing will just have to wait.

And when I mean spend, I mean no money coming out of my account. But here is my question. If you have something budgeted, IE: cell phone bill, groceries, etc, and you take care of those, is that considered spending? If I don't buy anything all day, but I pay my mortgage, did I NOT have a NSD? I wouldn't think that would count. But I thought I would survey the masses.



I did spend $2.00 that I had today on crappy Taco Bell. My husband and I have been on a diet, and so this Taco Bell made me feel horrible. Actually made me physically sick to my stomach. Guess I should have grabbed my lunch today. But our schedule got a little thrown off.

I am starting Suck it Up September. I'm sticking to the budget. I'm making sure the credit cards are paid off by the end of the month. If I want something and I can't get it, I will just suck it up and deal with it. And I will look for ways to come up with extra cash. I told my husband I want 10K in savings (Not by September!!). So Savings...Sucking it up...Success...those are my goals. I don't think it will be easy, especially since I have had a rough few months. But I'm feeling a new found sense of determination. Positive and forward.

Happy September.